Brothers, Sisters, Strangers Blog

Brothers, Sisters, Strangers
Brothers, Sisters, Strangers

Welcome to my new blog! Here, you can freely discuss your challenges with sibling relationships. If you would like, I will not use your name to protect your privacy.

My interest in this topic is rooted in my personal story; my older brother and I didn't talk to each other for most of my adult life. Over time, we did reconcile, and I captured that journey in my book, Brothers, Sisters, Strangers: Sibling Estrangement and the Road to Reconciliation.

For years, I've wondered about the nature of sibling relationships and, in particular, when and how they break down, cut off, or enter the territory of estrangement. How do sibling estrangement and reconciliation define an individual?

Here, I hope to give others the opportunity to explore this underacknowledged topic, which many experts call "epidemic." Like me, you may find it helpful to think through these issues; writing a post for this blog may provide a useful structure to begin to do so. Writing is therapeutic and capturing stories in words benefits both the writer and the reader. In fact, I have created a writing workbook, The Sibling Estrangement Journal: A Guided Exploration of Your Experience through Writing, offering you a private, emotional outlet to understand and process the grief of sibling estrangement.

Here is the link to the book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BLLTT6SJ#SalesRank

For those who are seeking personal life coaching, I offer private sessions to discuss estrangement, reconciliation, and family relations. Please email me at fernschumer@gmail.com to discuss details. Thanks for participating and posting.

Jan 31 2024

40 Years of Estrangement – A reader confronts her toxic family’s abuse

A reader posted her story on my blog: I confronted my mother with her immensely controlling abusive behavior and sexualized attachment to me in 1986. I had to get away so desperately to find myself that I cut off everyone in the family. Lucky for me, my father corroborated my experience but since he too was utterly dependent on her he could not continue to be in contact with me. ...
Jan 31 2024

New York Times article features FSC

    Honored to be featured in this New York Times article!  
Jan 28 2024

Why siblings in Holocaust families struggle to get along

  Siblings respond differently to parents' Holocaust trauma, causing estrangement. KEY POINTS Children of Holocaust survivors either remain enmeshed with their families or alienated from them. Parents either exposed children to personal horror stories or said nothing about their experiences. Children of survivors became “parents” to their own parents, soothing their anxieties and allaying their fears. Genocidal trauma not only kills family members; it also ruptures the family for generations ...
Dec 19 2023

Betrayal Blindness: Not Seeing What’s Obvious

Research on attachment reveals why the betrayed stay in a state of denial.
Dec 13 2023

Oh, Brother (or Sister)!

New article that captures the essence of sibling relationships and their challenges.
Dec 6 2023

Is It Sibling Rivalry or Sibling Abuse?

Sibling victimization, “the forgotten abuse,” is three times more common than school bullying and it often leads to estrangement in adulthood.
Nov 20 2023

15 Tips for the Estranged to Cope with the Holidays

How to navigate negative emotions, seasonal hype, and family events.
Nov 4 2023

Why Black Families Feel Intensely the Stigma of Estrangement

Chimére L. Sweeney, an advocate for Black women and founder of The Black Long Covid Experience, explains why Blacks may not want to admit they have estranged relatives -- especially to whites.
Nov 3 2023

Huff Post features FSC in article about sibling rivalry

Here's how to mend a sibling rivalry that's lasted into adulthood.
Oct 10 2023

New study finds half of LGBTQ are estranged from family

"When I came out to my parents, the rejection hit me so badly I could barely get out of bed most mornings in college..."

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