Brothers, Sisters, Strangers Blog

Brothers, Sisters, Strangers
Brothers, Sisters, Strangers

Welcome to my new blog! Here, you can freely discuss your challenges with sibling relationships. If you would like, I will not use your name to protect your privacy.

My interest in this topic is rooted in my personal story; my older brother and I didn't talk to each other for most of my adult life. Over time, we did reconcile, and I captured that journey in my book, Brothers, Sisters, Strangers: Sibling Estrangement and the Road to Reconciliation.

For years, I've wondered about the nature of sibling relationships and, in particular, when and how they break down, cut off, or enter the territory of estrangement. How do sibling estrangement and reconciliation define an individual?

Here, I hope to give others the opportunity to explore this underacknowledged topic, which many experts call "epidemic." Like me, you may find it helpful to think through these issues; writing a post for this blog may provide a useful structure to begin to do so. Writing is therapeutic and capturing stories in words benefits both the writer and the reader. In fact, I have created a writing workbook, The Sibling Estrangement Journal: A Guided Exploration of Your Experience through Writing, offering you a private, emotional outlet to understand and process the grief of sibling estrangement.

Here is the link to the book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BLLTT6SJ#SalesRank

For those who are seeking personal life coaching, I offer private sessions to discuss estrangement, reconciliation, and family relations. Please email me at fernschumer@gmail.com to discuss details. Thanks for participating and posting.

Jan 13 2026

New psychologytoday.com post: President’s daughter writes about grief

In an essay called "An Awkward Kind of Grief," Patti Davis, the daughter of President Ronald Reagan, reflected upon the recent death of her half-brother, Michael Reagan—someone she barely knew. The two had the same father, but a strained and distant relationship. Patti’s mother, Nancy Reagan, kept the children from her husband’s first marriage at arm’s length from the children she shared with Reagan. As adults, half-siblings Michael and Patti ...
Jan 2 2026

New psychologytoday.com blog – How estrangement erodes the ability to trust

Sibling estrangement is not just about not talking to your brother or sister. It has much broader ramifications, as sibling rejection can profoundly shape an individual's personality and their roles in the family. Many estranged people who have experienced rejection from family members struggle to trust.
Nov 24 2025

Coping with Family Alienation November workshop — Join us!

Screenshot Link to join us: https://www.copingwithfamilyalienation.com/store
Nov 21 2025

Readers Digest article: Why Do Adult Siblings Stop Speaking? The Psychology of Estrangement

Becoming estranged from a sibling can be devastating, even when it also brings a sense of relief. Here's why it happens, and whether you should reconcile—or not.  
Nov 12 2025

A Narcissist in the Family Often Leads to Estrangement

One of the most frequent risk factors for sibling estrangement is a family member who has narcissistic personality  traits. That person may not be diagnosed with the full-blown disorder; they may simply display some of the characteristics.
Oct 15 2025

How Fawning Fosters Distance in Adult Relationships

A childhood trauma response that leads to estranging family and ourselves. Fawning, a trauma response learned in childhood, can lead to quiet estrangements from family and one's self. Fawners' relationships are performative, not genuine connection, so fawners often feel unseen and unheard. People-pleasing is a learned strategy or a conscious choice, while fawning is a survival mechanism.   https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brothers-sisters-strangers/202510/how-fawning-fosters-distance-in-adult-relationships
Oct 14 2025

How do I accept the possibility of my brother’s death during a period of estrangement?

My (half) brother is 11 years older than me and in his mid 30s. I just blocked his number. When I was 11 he started a relationship with a woman who would become his ex wife and had multiple kids with her. This relationship was a slow decent for him as a person, as he faced close to 15 years of slow narcissistic abuse from a woman who is clearly ...
Aug 22 2025

How childhood communication patterns disturb adult relationships

New pyschologytoday.com blog post shows how dysfunctional emotional and behavioral patterns established in the family of origin often resurface in intimate bonds outside the family.   KEY POINTS Individuals bring unresolved issues into new relationships, re‐creating patterns from their family of origin. Children who feel their parents or siblings rejected them often misread emotional cues. Adults who didn't learn communication skills as children often estrange themselves rather than resolve issues. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brothers-sisters-strangers/202508/how-toxic-dynamics-from-childhood-resurface-in-adulthood
Jul 1 2025

New blog post on psychologytoday.com

When my book, Brothers, Sisters, Strangers: Sibling Estrangement and the Road to Reconciliation, was released in 2021, the editorial board at my publishing house debated whether to use the word “estrangement” in the subtitle. That word was not widely used at that time, and editors feared that potential readers would be confused and put off by the term. Now, in just four years, the word “estrangement” is everywhere – so ...
Jun 5 2025

Reader asks for help with her strained relationship with her sister

Seeking advice on how to deal with current relationship with sister whom was close to in the past

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