Brothers, Sisters, Strangers Blog

Brothers, Sisters, Strangers
Brothers, Sisters, Strangers

Welcome to my new blog! Here, you can freely discuss your challenges with sibling relationships. If you would like, I will not use your name to protect your privacy.

My interest in this topic is rooted in my personal story; my older brother and I didn't talk to each other for most of my adult life. Over time, we did reconcile, and I captured that journey in my book, Brothers, Sisters, Strangers: Sibling Estrangement and the Road to Reconciliation.

For years, I've wondered about the nature of sibling relationships and, in particular, when and how they break down, cut off, or enter the territory of estrangement. How do sibling estrangement and reconciliation define an individual?

Here, I hope to give others the opportunity to explore this underacknowledged topic, which many experts call "epidemic." Like me, you may find it helpful to think through these issues; writing a post for this blog may provide a useful structure to begin to do so. Writing is therapeutic and capturing stories in words benefits both the writer and the reader. In fact, I have created a writing workbook, The Sibling Estrangement Journal: A Guided Exploration of Your Experience through Writing, offering you a private, emotional outlet to understand and process the grief of sibling estrangement.

Here is the link to the book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BLLTT6SJ#SalesRank

For those who are seeking personal life coaching, I offer private sessions to discuss estrangement, reconciliation, and family relations. Please email me at fernschumer@gmail.com to discuss details. Thanks for participating and posting.

When Caring for Mom or Dad Divides a Family

  A new survey finds that the stress of caring for aging parents can break sibling bonds. KEY POINTS One in five people report experiencing permanent sibling estrangement due to caring for an aging parent. Nearly half of caregivers report that they resent a sibling because caregiving was not shared fairly. Gender expectations can shape how families divide care; daughters are typically the hands-on caregiver. A family text thread may ...

A Terminal Illness Sets a Cruel Deadline for the Estranged

When a relative gets a life-threatening diagnosis, the estranged -- like Prince Harry -- face a cruel deadline that poses difficult questions: Should I call? Would my presence help or harm? If I stay away, will I regret it? If I return, will I lose the boundaries that made life bearable? https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brothers-sisters-strangers/202607/a-terminal-illness-sets-a-cruel-deadline-for-the-estranged

A Midlife Awakening: Seeing Things Anew in Our 50s and 60s

In midlife, some see things with fresh eyes, requiring a narrative revision. KEY POINTS In midlife - after parents die, children leave, careers plateau - some people do an emotional audit. Many find that the facts of their lives have not changed, but they often find the meaning has changed. Such an awakening prompts a reorganization of relationships, purpose, and identity,   https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brothers-sisters-strangers/202606/a-midlife-awakening-seeing-things-anew-in-our-50s-and-60s

The Estrangement Library features Brothers, Sisters, Strangers

From the review: "As a parent, reading Brothers, Sisters, Strangers gave me a fuller perspective on how estrangement affects other members of a family. Learning more about sibling estrangement helped me better understand the consequences of estrangement between my own children. "It also reminded me that whether the cutoff is between siblings, parents and children, or other relatives, the losses—while different in some ways—often feel quite similar. "This book doesn’t ...

New psychologytoday.com blog: New Voices on Social Media Empower Alienated Parents

Parents on social media find they aren't alone: "It's a pain you can't describe!"  

Question from estranged sister: How do I manage when parents fall ill or die?

Fern, I just read your article 'How Narcissism Can Lead to Sibling Estrangement', and I recognised every single description. This is not a surprise to me, since I've struggled with 'sibling estrangement' for nearly two decades. And she's my only one... (adding to a deep-rooted sense of self-blame). A turning point in my life was when I broke the news of my pregnancy with my sister (and of course, she'd ...

New psychologytoday.com post: President’s daughter writes about grief

In an essay called "An Awkward Kind of Grief," Patti Davis, the daughter of President Ronald Reagan, reflected upon the recent death of her half-brother, Michael Reagan—someone she barely knew. The two had the same father, but a strained and distant relationship. Patti’s mother, Nancy Reagan, kept the children from her husband’s first marriage at arm’s length from the children she shared with Reagan. As adults, half-siblings Michael and Patti ...

New psychologytoday.com blog – How estrangement erodes the ability to trust

Sibling estrangement is not just about not talking to your brother or sister. It has much broader ramifications, as sibling rejection can profoundly shape an individual's personality and their roles in the family. Many estranged people who have experienced rejection from family members struggle to trust.

Coping with Family Alienation November workshop — Join us!

Screenshot Link to join us: https://www.copingwithfamilyalienation.com/store

Readers Digest article: Why Do Adult Siblings Stop Speaking? The Psychology of Estrangement

Becoming estranged from a sibling can be devastating, even when it also brings a sense of relief. Here's why it happens, and whether you should reconcile—or not.  

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