Brothers, Sisters, Strangers Blog

Brothers, Sisters, Strangers
Brothers, Sisters, Strangers

Welcome to my new blog! Here, you can freely discuss your challenges with sibling relationships. If you would like, I will not use your name to protect your privacy.

My interest in this topic is rooted in my personal story; my older brother and I didn't talk to each other for most of my adult life. Over time, we did reconcile, and I captured that journey in my book, Brothers, Sisters, Strangers: Sibling Estrangement and the Road to Reconciliation.

For years, I've wondered about the nature of sibling relationships and, in particular, when and how they break down, cut off, or enter the territory of estrangement. How do sibling estrangement and reconciliation define an individual?

Here, I hope to give others the opportunity to explore this underacknowledged topic, which many experts call "epidemic." Like me, you may find it helpful to think through these issues; writing a post for this blog may provide a useful structure to begin to do so. Writing is therapeutic and capturing stories in words benefits both the writer and the reader. In fact, I have created a writing workbook, The Sibling Estrangement Journal: A Guided Exploration of Your Experience through Writing, offering you a private, emotional outlet to understand and process the grief of sibling estrangement.

Here is the link to the book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BLLTT6SJ#SalesRank

For those who are seeking personal life coaching, I offer private sessions to discuss estrangement, reconciliation, and family relations. Please email me at fernschumer@gmail.com to discuss details. Thanks for participating and posting.

May 20 2025

New blog post: How siblings profoundly shape each other’s identities

Siblings help chart the course of each other's lives in ways we're still discovering. KEY POINTS Parents have been identified as primarily shaping children, but the sibling influence has been overlooked. Siblings shape each other's identity, altering behavior, and even affecting mental and physical health. Siblings help chart the course of one another's lives; those with close bonds fare better.
May 16 2025

Parade/AOL article quote: Estranged are harshly judged

"Some grow up with their siblings side by side as best friends, while others spend their childhood walking on eggshells. And there are no guarantees that things will get better with time, either. To explore how deep this sort of damage can run, let's take a look at a Reddit thread where people have been sharing what it's like to have an antisocial brother or sister who has crossed every ...
Apr 26 2025

New blog: 2 hidden factors that contribute to family estrangement

Hiding vices or avoiding triggers may cause family members to cut off contact. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brothers-sisters-strangers/202504/2-hidden-factors-that-contribute-to-family-estrangement
Mar 23 2025

NewsBreak’s BuzzFeed article quotes Brothers, Sisters, Strangers

  "Second, there are distinct risk factors for sibling estrangement. In her book, Brothers, Sisters, Strangers: Sibling Estrangement and the Road to Reconciliation, Fern Schumer Chapman says children raised in chaotic, abusive, or neglectful families like the one V and I grew up in run the greatest risk of estrangement, often shutting down and numbing themselves to their emotions, which effectively limits all relationships. She adds that poor communication skills ...
Feb 21 2025

New York Magazine’s “The Cut” quotes author of Brothers, Sisters, Strangers

https://www.thecut.com/article/sister-is-cutting-out-relatives-family-wrong-no-contact.html
Feb 21 2025

For Love of Recovery Podcast features FSC

For Love of Recovery Podcast features FSC - https://www.forloveofrecovery.com/podcast/my-sibling-and-i-are-estranged-fern-schumer-chapman
Jan 26 2025

Ordered Book

I read the description of this book to my hub. He could not believe how accurately it described the emotions & distress which have consumed our lives over the past 9 months. My baby sister dumped us after more than 33 years of closeness. It has been nearly a year of despair, hurt & anger.
Jan 7 2025

Join the Book Launch party for 90 on Jan. 10!

How far would you go to avoid being forced to kill? That is the question Bruce Wasser faced as a young man! The year is 1969; Bruce is 20, and 90 was his lottery number. The number that guaranteed he’d be drafted into the military—likely becoming a soldier in the Vietnam War. Join us for the ZOOM book launch party on Friday, January 10, 2025, at 8:30 pm EST, (7:30 ...
Jan 7 2025

In a Toxic Relationship…”Let Them” or Hear Them

The "Let Them Theory" argues that chronically disrespectful relationships shouldn't be sustained. Instead of trying to fix the other person, the theory posits, it's best to "let them" behave as they will. Is it a good idea?  
Dec 13 2024

Bored Panda quotes FSC on what happens when siblings choose partners

“AITA For Refusing To Babysit After My Sister Demanded I Stop Bringing My BF To Family Events?”   Author of Brothers, Sisters, Strangers: Sibling Estrangement and the Road to Reconciliation, Fern Schumer Chapman, suggested that one of the siblings choosing a partner can be a perilous moment in their relationship. “A new partner may feel threatened by, or jealous of, closeness between brothers and sisters...” https://www.boredpanda.com/man-refuses-babysit-homophobic-sisters-kid/

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