There is no recourse, no self-defense for the shunned.
When a sibling is cut off, he/she loses the opportunity to present his/her side of the story, ask questions, or apologize. The shunned are rendered voiceless. Cutting off a sibling wields a weighty club of control, denying a sister’s or brother’s very existence; the shunned often feel anxious, rejected, hopeless, and powerless..
As silence stretches on for months and even years, rumination replaces action for the shunned. Rumination, the constant replaying of events and conversations, erodes any remaining urge to attempt a productive conversation. In time, the shunned may come to feel that the prolonged silence is a deliberate act of hurt—its own form of betrayal and abuse.
This emotional void leaves deep scars, as the shunned grapple with an overwhelming sense of unworthiness and confusion. The estranged feel deeply the absence of communication, as well as a profound sense of isolation and helplessness. The shunned are left to navigate a landscape of unanswered questions and unresolved feelings, often without much information as to why there is no contact.
However, healing is possible. By engaging in self-reflection through journal writing or by seeking professional help, the shunned can begin to rebuild their sense of self-worth and find peace.
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Posted in blog, Brothers, Sisters, Strangers Blog