When faced with the pain of estrangement, some people develop coping mechanisms that, while seemingly helpful in the moment, can result in deeper emotional struggles. People-pleasing is one such response. To avoid further rejection, an individual may bend over backward to meet others’ expectations – often compromising one’s own needs and well-being.
For those who have experienced estrangement, the fear of losing another important connection can be terrifying. This fear can trigger a pattern of people-pleasing, as the individual constantly seeks approval and validation in hopes of preventing another painful separation. However, this response can lead to a cycle of self-neglect and emotional exhaustion.
People-pleasing as a trauma response stems from the deep-seated belief that one’s worth is tied to others’ acceptance. It’s a survival mechanism in response to being shunned or cut off by a loved one. Yet, when people-pleasers inadvertently suppress their true selves, they run the risk of feeling resentment, burnout, and even deeper isolation.
Healing from this pattern requires recognizing the underlying trauma and learning to set healthy boundaries. A people pleaser needs to reclaim his/her own voice, honor his/her own needs, and understand that a person’s value isn’t dependent on anyone else’s approval. True connection comes from authenticity, not from sacrificing self to please others.
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Posted in blog, Brothers, Sisters, Strangers Blog