Legacy

Becoming estranged from a sibling can be devastating, even when it also brings a sense of relief. Here's why it happens, and whether you should reconcile—or not.  

One of the most frequent risk factors for sibling estrangement is a family member who has narcissistic personality  traits. That person may not be diagnosed with the full-blown disorder; they may simply display some of the characteristics.

The Kristallnacht Commemoration in Münzenberg was held in the old synagogue yesterday. Its history reflects shifting attitudes towards Jews in Germany. For ninety years — 1848 to 1938 — six Jewish families who lived in Münzenberg, including Gerda Katz, worshipped in the small, two-story synagogue in the center of the city, near the Lutheran church. But on Kristallnacht, Nazis smashed the synagogue’s door and threw benches and Jewish artifacts out ...

  Organizers of today's Kristallnacht Commemoration event in Münzenberg, Germany sent me this photo and description of Gerda Katz's home and town in 1938: "Street view of the Steinweg with the home of the Albert Katz family (second house on the left, with the large courtyard gate). Notably, this house – unlike most of the neighboring buildings – does not display a Nazi flag. The photograph poignantly documents everyday life ...

Frankfurter Neue Presse announcement of Kristallnacht event remembering Gerda Katz in Münzenberg The Münzenberg town administration announces a memorial event on November 9th. "I used to climb to the top of the tower and roll down steep hills. It drove my parents crazy." These are the memories of a young woman from Münzenberg of her idyllic childhood. What followed was horrific: Gerda Katz had to leave her home at just ...

A childhood trauma response that leads to estranging family and ourselves. Fawning, a trauma response learned in childhood, can lead to quiet estrangements from family and one's self. Fawners' relationships are performative, not genuine connection, so fawners often feel unseen and unheard. People-pleasing is a learned strategy or a conscious choice, while fawning is a survival mechanism.   https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brothers-sisters-strangers/202510/how-fawning-fosters-distance-in-adult-relationships

My (half) brother is 11 years older than me and in his mid 30s. I just blocked his number. When I was 11 he started a relationship with a woman who would become his ex wife and had multiple kids with her. This relationship was a slow decent for him as a person, as he faced close to 15 years of slow narcissistic abuse from a woman who is clearly ...

New pyschologytoday.com blog post shows how dysfunctional emotional and behavioral patterns established in the family of origin often resurface in intimate bonds outside the family.   KEY POINTS Individuals bring unresolved issues into new relationships, re‐creating patterns from their family of origin. Children who feel their parents or siblings rejected them often misread emotional cues. Adults who didn't learn communication skills as children often estrange themselves rather than resolve issues. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brothers-sisters-strangers/202508/how-toxic-dynamics-from-childhood-resurface-in-adulthood

When my book, Brothers, Sisters, Strangers: Sibling Estrangement and the Road to Reconciliation, was released in 2021, the editorial board at my publishing house debated whether to use the word “estrangement” in the subtitle. That word was not widely used at that time, and editors feared that potential readers would be confused and put off by the term. Now, in just four years, the word “estrangement” is everywhere – so ...

Seeking advice on how to deal with current relationship with sister whom was close to in the past