News

New psychologytoday.com blog post: Siblings may grow closer when parents divorce

A friend of the New York Times writer Ellen Umansky was struggling with her daughters who simply couldn't get along. The friend asked Umansky how she could get her daughters to be as close as Umansky and her brother. “You and your husband should separate,” Umansky replied. “Then go through an ugly divorce. That’ll bring your kids together.” There’s truth to Umansky’s gallows humor.   Link to article:   https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brothers-sisters-strangers/202203/siblings-may-grow-closer-when-parents-divorce

How “Is It Night or Day?” got its title…

When I was writing the story of my mother's immigration journey as an unaccompanied minor, I read an article in the New York Times about the orphaned children in the Sudanese Civil War. Fleeing tribal warfare and animal attacks, the "Lost Boys" camped out, subsisting on rationed corn mush and lentils. Many died of starvation and thirst. The article featured "three bone-thin African boys" who had the good fortune of ...

New psychologytoday.com post: When Partners and Siblings Can’t Get Along

Sisters and brothers face one of the most perilous moments in their relationship when one of them chooses a life partner. I didn’t recognize the prevalence of this stress point until I conducted an informal survey for my book, Brothers, Sisters, Strangers: Sibling Estrangement and the Road to Reconciliation. Many respondents blamed a spouse or partner for fracturing a sibling relationship. Link to full post: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brothers-sisters-strangers/202203/when-partners-and-siblings-cant-get-along

Latest psychologytoday.com post: “Are My Sibling and I Estranged?”

The basics on sibling estrangement for those who don't know whether a brother or sister has cut them off. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brothers-sisters-strangers/202202/are-my-sibling-and-i-estranged?fbclid=IwAR1qezUmUQXCfbVDwddmbuUFyW2jokQFgP6Hcx5pB_DUIomYiQzUL6qjy7c  

First time my formerly estranged brother joins me for a radio interview!

When a public radio station in North Carolina asked if my formerly estranged brother would come on a show to discuss family estrangement and reconciliation, he said yes! Interesting to hear his perspective. Here is the interview. Our segment starts at 25:00. https://www.wunc.org/show/embodied-radio-show/2022-02-18/estrangement-family-personal-stories-sibling-parent-child

New psychologytoday.com post: 8 Misperceptions about Sibling Estrangement

Misperceptions abound as estranged siblings avoid discussing their experiences. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brothers-sisters-strangers/202202/8-misperceptions-about-sibling-estrangement

New psychologytoday.com post: Resources for those struggling with sibling estrangement

Sibling estrangement is a kind of Me-Too movement, as those who suffer are finally breaking silence, rejecting shame, and sharing stories. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brothers-sisters-strangers/202202/what-resources-can-help-those-estranged-sibling Another resources for those struggling with family estrangement: https://sixtyandme.com/tag/estrangement/

World Read Aloud Day reminds us that reading together eases pain and alienation…latest blog on psychologytoday.com

World Read Aloud Day is a greater reminder of the value of reading together. Here, I consider how my Happy Harper picture books about the separation of grandparents and grandchildren during the pandemic might help little ones understand their confusing emotions. Even my mother, who suffered with profound Holocaust losses when she was a child, might have felt less alone if someone had taken the time to read aloud with ...

Finally…an in-person school speech!

First in-person school presentation in a few years. So nice to talk to students again. They ask such great questions. After learning about Germany’s efforts to face its history, one 8th grader asked me, “What can America do to atone for its national crimes?” Thank you Erin Wengerhoff for organizing! Always enjoy my visits to Algonquin Middle School - Des Plaines.